The Tudor Rose Award for Best Show Garden  'I am, because of who we are'  

The day didn't start well; someone had thrown themselves on the tracks between Surbiton and Hampton Court, and the trains were  all running late. Sadly, this seems to be a very regular occurrence, as my son Tom is sat on a train outside Wimbledon, and has been for hours, because someone else decided to end it all today too.

Eventually I got to the show and took my regular route on a Turks Ferry across the Thames, and grabbed myself a show guide.  I had a list of areas I wanted to visit, as I knew my energy reserves can be challenged, and my enthusiasm is often outweighed by my inability to live up to my own expectations of myself.

I thought this time I had been smart, and had made myself a limited itinerary, so that rather than feeling like I failed, I would at least succeed in seeing the features that really interested me.

The first of these was the Rose Marquee and as luck would have it, almost as soon as I entered the show ground, it was in front of me.  The theme this year, was 'Alice in Wonderland', and this was to celebrate the Year of the Rose 2012.  I didn't quite get the connection, but  went to have a look around anyway.  When I tell you that the David Austin stand got a Silver-Gilt medal, it is a good indication of the standard of things to come . I LOVE  roses, but to be honest found the whole area disappointing, a theme to be repeated throughout the day. There were some gorgeous roses, and I ordered several for autumn delivery, but when I tell you the rose arches on one stand, weren't covered in a glorious climber or rambler, but a series of  ordinary plastic pots poorly disguised with a moss band attached to the arch at intervals, you begin to think the effort made by the exhibitor is a bit half-hearted.

From here I wondered  through the Heritage Plant area, and my mood improved as I saw the exhibitors here enthuse about their love of particular plant groups. I was again struck by the beauty and fragrance of Marshalls Malmaison carnations, and had to stop myself from ordering more; I last bought some 3 years ago, and I think I lack the necessary dedication to look after them, because mine look very sad compared to the ones on show.

From here, my next item on the list was the RHS Edible Garden; this was definitely a must see in my book, given my interest in trying to attain greater self-sufficiency, and the fact it was demonstrating a number of things I had a personal interest in.  All was going well, I was pleased to note the hedges full of hazel, hawthorn and blackthorn, all a foragers' dream, providing nuts, berries for preserves, and sloes for gin. This very quickly came to a full stop as the garden was taped off with red and white tape, and RHS staff were advising people that because of BBC filming, the garden was temporarily closed. I asked how long was 'temporary', and was told half an hour. OK I thought, so I wondered around the perimeter to try to see some of it anyway. Not easy, because the loved hedge was now obstructing my view. I walked as far as the RHS Information centre, and decided to use it as an opportunity to rest. I settled down on the  raised decking outside, and waited. And Waited. AND WAITED. AND WAITED. This was turning into the longest half hour in history. After 45 minutes I asked again how long we might have to wait to be allowed in. To be told .... half an hour! At this point, I made my mind known, and decided to head over the water towards the Floral Marquee.

The displays as ever were amazing, but my already shortened fuse was in danger of igniting when for the nth time I was clobbered in the shins with one of those blasted boxes on wheels, being trailed behind some gormless person who was completely oblivious to the trail of carnage in their wake.  OK, that sounds dramatic, but I am firmly of the opinion that they should be banned, they are a safety hazard, and a nuisance, and I now have a pretty interesting collection of bruises on my legs.

I retreated to an area near the bandstand, and decided that a refueling stop would put things right, so I grabbed myself a sandwich, a diet coke and an apple in the RHS food court.  You could have knocked me down with a feather when the girl asked me for £8.75, and I checked to see if the apple I had chosen was in fact gold-plated.  Nope, it was just your regular Red Delicious, looks delicious, but tastes ... well lets just say it was probably better than the bananas and oranges on offer.

I wondered outside and found myself a place to settle, whilst listening to an American Service band (I think) play music from the 1940s.  Suitably soothed by Glenn Miller and refreshed, I thought I would make a second attempt at seeing the RHS Edible Garden. An hour and a half had passed since I first went to see it, surely it would be open by now.

I arrived back where the hop bines were to witness the poor girl on stilts disappear, and hit the ground with a thump. I also noticed the geese still looked much too hot and weren't in any shade. Worst still the measly bucket of water these geese had been left was still a foul and dirty mess, despite the fact I had I had pointed out to the RHS staff member on my earlier attempt to visit the garden.

The garden appeared open now, so along with what appeared  to be the rest of the visitors at the Show, I tried to view the garden.  At this point, I wondered about asking the Hop stilt walking Girl for a loan of her stilts, as the crowds were 3 - 4 deep, and not being the tallest person in the world, to say my view was restricted was an understatement.  There was a bee-keeping demonstration in progress from the BBKA, and it was heartening to see so many people interested. I wonder how many new bee-keepers were born yesterday?   The vegetable displays were amazing, and I have never seen such perfection in cabbages.  I was really getting into my stride and enjoying the whole experience of being in what was a beautiful and productive garden, to once again he faced by the dreaded red and white tape barring my way.  They were STILL filming, and from what I could make out Monty was still doing the same piece I had seen him doing, when I first attempted visiting the garden almost 2 hours earlier. How many retakes did it require I wonder, I would love to know!

At this point the red mist descended, as a lady on a disability scooter reversed into the back of me, and drove off. I had been the victim of a hit and run! Time to leave, before I completely lost my temper.

I wandered back to the exit to the river via the show gardens, which all appeared to be huddled together on the extremities of the Show ground. A couple were pretty enough,  and the Conceptual gardens had some interesting ideas, although most of them seemed to be a bit overworked in my humble opinion.

I kept looking for a garden that would stand out, but in the end had to ask which won best in show and be directed there by a Steward. Says it all really.

So in conclusion, this is my lasting impression. The Show has been over run with trade stands, and the whole meaning of Flower Show seems to have been lost in the rush to make money from selling retail space.  The BBC seemed particularly inept at time keeping, and I was more than a little irritated that as a paying RHS member, I was being prevented from seeing what was the best exhibit in the Show. Possibly the BBC felt as I did? That everything else was a bit lack lustre, and well, they had to make good TV and were following the Zeitgeist.

Will I go again? Probably not.