I made this last night, its made from 925 Sterling silver chain, beads, findings and wire. Lapis Lazuli beads, small freshwater pearl beads and tiny white quartz chips

Since I was about 12 years old and gave up my first paper round having been bitten by a dog 3 days running, I have always had a job, or a tangible role in life. I have worked on Watercress beds, picking and packing in the school holidays, as a groom, as a pigherd, mucking out arks and feeding them.

I worked in Woolies for years as a Saturday girl, on the Deli counter selling bacon, sausages and a variety of cut meats. I always went home smelling of Garlic Sausage! I worked on Ladies Wear later on, and vividly recall selling cotton knickers to Lesley Judd - I was still a Blue Peter watcher in those days, and she was a presenter, along with John Noakes and Peter Purvis. It was very difficult to watch Blue Peter after that, knowing she may have the very knickers on that I had wrapped and sold her!

I worked at The Copper Kettle on Saturdays. A proper old fashioned tea room  that sold amazing cream cakes and sandwiches, or poached eggs on toast, and substantial 'luncheons' usually a roast or other home-made fare.  I loved working there, there were so many regulars, always generous with their tips and curious about my navy blue 'Alice in Wonderland' Clarks children's shoes, and red ankle socks I wore. I wore them to be different, I wore them because in those days Alice represented my ambition to escape the life I was living at home. It was my quiet rebellion. My attempt at non conformity.

School, college and the like saw me working in numerous jobs to supplement my income, pubs, restaurants,  anything that was legal, and paid on a regular basis.  Sometimes working more than one job. Nothing was beneath me.

Then I drifted into IT having become seriously disenchanted with the misogynistic attitude I had encountered in the Building trade, I had studied Building Construction Technology and Architecture, but when employed by a Diocesan Architects office, despite being qualified and able, was treated like the tea girl. I hadn't studied for years to devote myself to the finer points of brewing a cup of PG Tips.

I began to look around - IT seemed to be the up and coming thing, Programming especially. It was a profession with a future as far as I could work out at that tender age; we are in the very early 1980s by now. Certainly the 'Old Boys' club atmosphere of so many professions wasn't  obvious to me. It seemed a relatively level playing field for both genders too,  meritocracy, rather than misogyny.

So I opted for this, I worked at a computer operator at first, in the heady days of Tape desks and exchangable disks. In the days when computing power was still measured in the number of bytes used in memory and computers filled large rooms - but only had the capabilities of a small PC today.  I learned boolean algerbra, binary, octal and hexadecimal, and could read these as easily as I read English today. I spoke to the computer in a language it understood - Assembler, and then later Cobol and many others, from 4GLs to TP monitors, Data Dictionaries and everything inbetween.  I was a Geek of the first order.

After some 25 years of this I became bored, and disenchanted with this profession too.  I hated having it on my conscience that every time I designed and developed a new piece of software, I was effectively putting some poor sod out of work. Sometimes the software we wrote replaced entire departments of clerks. It made me uncomfortable.  Eventually I quit on the basis I would be a stay at home Mummy, albeit a bit late in the day, my kids had all but finished Primary School by the time I came to this position in my life.  I loved my kids, but needed something more, something to stimulate the grey matter, and I became very interested in the marriage of Art and Design with Horticulture. It tied up so many of my interests into one convenient package: Garden Design.

So again I took myself off to study - firstly spending a year at Merrist Wood on a Diploma, and then after I started a BSc in Garden Design at Sparsholt.

I got sick, and the World seemed to come to a grinding halt. Everything was subsumed by Cancer, it not only ate into my body, it seemed to eat into every part of my life too.  You cant imagine the changes this one simple six letter word has made on my life. It cost me friendships. It cost me my health, it cost me my confidence. And it made me unemployable. Who wants to employ someone who has had cancer and might get it again.  Not a very good prospect am I.

Anyway, I am now at a stage where I need to find something to do with my time. Something that not only interests me, and feels worthwhile, but also enables me to earn a little, to have a little independence and self respect again for helping myself, rather than looking for hand outs (I don't claim any benefits, despite being entitled, and never would unless circumstances forced me to).

I have had a go at making lots of things, many of which I have shown you on the blog here.  I think the answer maybe in going  solo and trying my hand at one of these as a part time occupation.

So why I am rambling on, and what  is it I want from you. Honesty I suppose. Do you think what I made in the photo above is saleable. Would you buy it, would you give it as a gift or like to receive it as such.    What would you be willing to pay for such an item. Should I be doing it differently? Is it too old fashioned? I would really value an opinoin. And no Polly Anna's please - I need to understand whether others think this would be a viable path for me to pursue before I commit to it, as the investment in materials is not inconsiderable for a person who doesn't work, who doesn't receive benefits and lives off her husbands kindness, and her own savings. I'd really appreciate the feed back. Thanks x